July 25, 2006

  • My middle son turns 24 today.


    He didn't come home last night. This is becoming a trend, a trend that I don't like. It's not that I don't understand his need to party with his friends. I do. I also understand how hard it must be to be at home, paying all of your money out in fines and child support, when you want to be out experiencing life as your friends experience it.


    But the facts are the facts. He needs to save his money (what little is left after he pays what has to be paid). He needs to go to NY to see his daughter in her environment. He needs to keep his nose clean. He needs to have open lines of communication with those of us who are in his corner. He needs to grasp the magnitude of fulltime fatherhood.


    And yet, today, on his 24th birthday, I wonder if he ever will.


    ________________________________________________


    Although I am afraid, I know that he is trying, that he wants it, that he is as afraid (or more afraid) than I am. And today, I am grateful for all that he has accomplished, for the 7+ months that he has been clean, for his willingness to pay support for his daughter without complaint, for his ability to hang-on to a little bit of his inner child, for his dedication to work, and for his love of family and friends.


    Please pop over and leave him a birthday message. He doesn't write much, but he reads everything that is written ......................

Comments (10)

  • Ah, ahh. It'll work out, I know it will. Robert's been through too much to get caught in an undertow again. And he loves his little daughter, I can feel that strongly. Give him an extra birthday hug from me! xo

  • I have a son who is twenty one and home until August...then he heads back up north for one last year of schooling.it is so hard to feel happy about the freedom they need when we know that is comes loaded with hurts and the potential to deail them..but my oldest who is twenty seven and my memory remind me that most somehow survive and mature... now I am bracing for the ride of my life with my yougest...fourteen..a daughter, bright and adventuresome....i get tired just thinking about more late nights..although I keep pretty tight reigns eventually I most likely will be looking at a clock in the wee hours...anyway..its nice to meet you... the photo aboves is wonderful Mia Lucia :shysmile:

  • Happy Birthday to him.........I hope he reads this. :heartbeat:

  • I stopped by and sent birthday wishes.

  • Hang in there MAMA.... My nearly 40 yr is kinda in position where I feel like I have to monitor her like she is 16 because of some decisions she has made in the recent past  ..and I have to stop it! But easy to say and very hard to do....I am trying to take it one day at a time....

  • My father had 4 children before he had my brother and me. He actually faked psychosis at a court hearing to get out of paying child support. He laughed and bragged about it for years - even replaying his performance for dramatic effect - drool and all.

    Your description of your son reminds me too much of my brother. Both are good people at heart, but irresponsible, and caught in the spur of the moment. That basic goodness tends to remain visible though, through whatever they get themselves into.

    Being willing to support your children is no small thing. It's a lot more than a lot of men do.

  • Thanks for stopping by my place.  I really don't write, I just love to read what others write.  I followed you for a while then lost track of you until I spotted you on Jerjonji's site.  I really feel for you and your son.  He reminds me a lot of my brother and his daughter.  He looks like a very proud papa!  My best to you and your family.

  • ((((((((HUGS)))))))) I know the trend...and thr worry when they are starting to go more and more and stay out all night...even when they say "trust me"...the part that's seen it before worries. Dru's at his gf's right now...and yet a part of me wonders if he'll leave there and go elsewhere and lie about it when he comes home in the wee hours....it's a habit of his. She has faith that he;ll change for her and their sons...me, I hope he does but I have heard it before...it's hard to be gung ho about it.

    Our sons seem to have a lot in common though mine is a bit younder with 2 children (1 biological and one whose life he's been in since he was 5 mos. old)...my son doesn't want to grow up yet...but it's not an option anymore, he has children and it's time. The days of having fun with his friends...they are gone...sad but true

  • perhaps it'll be good for him to get it all out of his system now, rather than when he has custody of destiny.  i can't imagine how he feels, the time he feels he has to make up for, the time he realises he'll lose once he gets through the court cases and begins full-time fatherhood.  perhaps he also needs to start thinking of everything he'll gain in the future, and how his life now will affect those gains.  i'm sure he does realise ... bless him.  and bless you for being his mum and standing by him when so many mum's wouldn't have done . 

  • the fear will always be there- just below the surface. ryc: at the time, i only knew the korean words and wasn't sure what they really meant!

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