July 28, 2006
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Weekend Visitors
"Lillianna will be here tonight," the note began, "so get all rooms dusted, swept, and cleaned. We don't want anything to trigger her asthma."
And so they scrubbed, and cleaned, and prepared for the arrival of the sweet Lillianna, the heart of the family, the precious one year old who never cries, or screams, or makes a scene, though they all wish desperately that she would.
Yes. They all wish desperately that she would.
But chances are she never will, you see, for asthma is not this treasured child's only demon; she has little muscle tone in her legs or torso and cannot stand; she has not yet learned to speak, though she laughs louder and with more conviction then any other little one we've known; and she has the features of one with down's syndrome, though she is yet to be officially diagnosed.
Monday she will be fitted for braces in hopes that they will stretch her legs and help her learn to walk. Her mom just found out, and she cried. "Mom," she said when I answered the phone, "people are going to think I'm a bad mom, that I did something wrong."
Something wrong.
Her mom feels as if she has done something wrong, something to cause the pain that her daughter endures, something that cannot be undone. "No," I tell her, No. You and Carlo have done nothing wrong. Quite the opposite. You have given us the most beautiful gift, the most beautiful grand daughter, and you have cared for her with a love that radiates from your eyes, from your lips, from your fingertips, every moment of every day. And we are thankful."
After the weekend, when they have gone home, I will share pictures, as I always do, of this most precious gift, and you will agree. There is nothing more perfect in all the land.................
Comments (12)
It's so hard when something isn't right with one of your children not to think that maybe, if you'd just done something differently, things would be different. I hope she (your daughter) can stop beating herself up and focus on loving her daughter, helping her however she can and stop playing the "It's my fault" game. Hugs.
Awwwww.. And I know how the mother feels. My oldest son suffers from severe ADHD and has great difficulties socically. School is so hard for him right now. I can't tell you how many times I've cried, wondering what *I* have done "wrong" to make him the way that he is. :heartbeat:
:heartbeat:
Dear God.....
I know she is just beautiful.
Your love for your granddaughter ,and your strength giving affirmation that your daughter is a good mom mean the world to her.I know
Oh, how fortunate you are to be part of this baby's life. And how fortunate she is to have you for her grandma. I'm really looking forward to seeing her pictures next week ... I already know she's going to be a sweetie!
:fl02:
your whole family are blessed to have you in their lives ... :hearts:
I hope your daughter can free herself of that false guilt that is stealing away the energy and time she could otherwise have for herself and her daughter.
My goodness being a mother is such a hard job in the best of circumstances.
Enjoy your time with Lillianna!
Maybe it would help your daughter to meet with other moms who have kids with special needs??
What a sweet post....and yes, no matter what ailments someone has.....it doesn't make us love them any less. Hugs.
:heartbeat: there is hope and there is treatment. while the baby may need both, the mom may just need to be hugged and loved a bit herself- and reminded that things happen to ppl for no reason, and that sometimes the biggest trials are the biggest rewards. :sunny:
What your Grandbaby might lack in physical strength and health will be more than made up for in personality and a heart of gold! These children are often times a huge gift from above. I think as parents, we all feel like your daughter does at some time in our parenting career. My oldest had huge behavior problems before he was diagnosed and having had him at 18 assumed that it was all my fault and I was a horrible parent!!!
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