Robert starts parenting classes next month. He just got the phone call he has been waiting for. -- He has been accepted into a father's only parenting group. He is very excited, and so am I. He has never had a lot of experience with little ones, and he is very stiff and scared when Destiny is in need of something (i. e. when she is not in pure happy play mode). The classes meet once a week for 5 weeks. He will be done in time to have the papers at the next custody court hearing (for which we have yet to be given a date) and in time for Destiny's holiday visit (which will be from around December 15 to around January 7)........... Quite a stretch of time! 

AND THEN

Some days I don't want to be a mom or a grandma or a student or a daughter or a teacher or a dean -- only a woman -- dreaming a different kind of dream, realizing a different potential, exploring a different world.

But I am all of these things, and so I must juggle a little bit of each all of the time -- juggle -- yes. I must juggle each day to stay alive ............

Who to Believe

I want to believe my son, I do. I want to think that he wants to be a dad more than anything. But I can't always get myself to do it.

He says he has been trying to contact his daughter, but her other grandma won't answer the phone. I told him to send an email. He said he did. She says he did, too, that it said that there must be something wrong with the phone lines.

I email her. She usually answers. I ask for pictures. I usually get them.

Sooooooooo ............ Why would she freely contact me and not him? Who knows. I do know that I will be glad when the courts put an end to all of this. At least we won't be continuously torn.

On a good note, Rob's parenting classes start in October, and he seems VERY happy about that. He even had a sparkle in his eye when he was telling me about the call.

AND ............

I got NEW pictures of our beautiful granddaughter, Destiny Jade, making cupcakes:

Robert's siblings pitched in to get him a tattoo for his 24th birthday.

I talked about it a few days later.

Some of you emailed or commented that you wanted to see pictures.

Today, I am posting them. A bit late, I know, but there are always so many other things on my plate............

Happy Monday to one and all!

As many of you know, our precious grand daughter, Lillianna Michele, has had many problems in her very short life.

She has been diagnosed with asthma and arthritis; she has been poked and prodded and hospitalized.

This week she was sent to MCG in Augusta, GA for testing. She and my daughter spent two days there. They learned more in those two days than we have in the last year. Tests (x-ray, blood, urine, ...) won't be back until September 14th (when they will drive the 3 hours back to Augusta), but they already think they know the root cause of Lillie's problems -- Otospondylomegaepiphyseal Dysplasia -- or OSMED, for short.

Her eye exam tests did come back immediately -- extreme nearsightedness -- more so in one eye that the other -- and astigmatism. She was fitted yesterday for glasses, Barbie glasses, purple Barbie glasses, to be exact. These should cut down, perhaps even eliminate, the headaches that cause her to poke at her own head and cry.

It isn't a great diagnosis, and it will mean years of trips to specialists, but it is a diagnosis, and it does allow us to at least know what we are dealing with.

Please keep her and her family in your thoughts (as I know you always do).............

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On a much lighter note, my son got his car back from the paint shop this week. He is showing it off here.

REMEMBERING

Being 16 is one of the hardest things a person has to do. Thank goodness, I don't remember a lot of what happened, but I do remember my 16th birthday. My boyfriend was supposed to take me out, so I had told my best friend that I would call her later (even though we had already made plans to hang out).

My boyfriend never showed, though he did call to say that I should be happy for him because he had found "true" love.

My best friend was out somewhere and had no idea that I needed her. (There were no cell phones back then.)

I spent what should have been a great night, alone, crying, wishing I had never been born.

Do you remember your 16th year?

Check out my son's Xanga site. He has invited us to hang with him as he maneuvers through this often tumultuous year of life.

THE BIRTHDAY RIDE

Some of you have asked for unicycle pictures. Here is one of the few I snapped where Robert is actually moving forward while on the thing, lol. He is getting better, though, so I will snap another picture or two when he returns from Florida.

Yep. Florida.

He and his best friend pulled out of our parking lot at 5:00 yesterday evening. They pulled into my daughter's driveway in Savannah GA at about 11:30 last night. After a good night's sleep, they will finish the trip to Tampa, where they will visit with Cleveland's family and do "single guy" stuff for a whole week.

Am I a bit nervous? Yep.

Am I excited for Robert (who has never been on a non-family vacation)? You bet I am!!! 

Defining Family

My family has agreed to be photographed for a diversity project that is being produced by a local photographer.

His work will be presented in a local art show. 

This is the picture he has chosen to use of us. I cannot even begin to explain how wonderful it is to have Robert front and center in a family photo!

The overall theme: Defining family.

Sooooooooo, in a paragraph or two, how do you define family?

I'm trying out a new toy. Here is one of my first attempts at a picture collage.

We had a fabulous, fabulous weekend with my daughter,

her husband, our children, and our precious grandbabies!

And here are a few other stand alone pics since I can't yet

figure out how to make the sheet larger before I save ......

And they're off .....................

Weekend Visitors

"Lillianna will be here tonight," the note began, "so get all rooms dusted, swept, and cleaned. We don't want anything to trigger her asthma."

And so they scrubbed, and cleaned, and prepared for the arrival of the sweet Lillianna, the heart of the family, the precious one year old who never cries, or screams, or makes a scene, though they all wish desperately that she would.

Yes. They all wish desperately that she would.

But chances are she never will, you see, for asthma is not this treasured child's only demon; she has little muscle tone in her legs or torso and cannot stand; she has not yet learned to speak, though she laughs louder and with more conviction then any other little one we've known; and she has the features of one with down's syndrome, though she is yet to be officially diagnosed.

Monday she will be fitted for braces in hopes that they will stretch her legs and help her learn to walk. Her mom just found out, and she cried. "Mom," she said when I answered the phone, "people are going to think I'm a bad mom, that I did something wrong." 

Something wrong.

Her mom feels as if she has done something wrong, something to cause the pain that her daughter endures, something that cannot be undone. "No," I tell her, No. You and Carlo have done nothing wrong. Quite the opposite. You have given us the most beautiful gift, the most beautiful grand daughter, and you have cared for her with a love that radiates from your eyes, from your lips, from your fingertips, every moment of every day. And we are thankful."

After the weekend, when they have gone home, I will share pictures, as I always do, of this most precious gift, and you will agree. There is nothing more perfect in all the land.................