November 8, 2005
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On your end, when you don't call, it signifies movement away from the need to connect with all that you have held as positive for many months, all that resides outside the darkness that is prison.
On your end, when you don't call, you know that the darkness is dissipating, that your current space is better than prison, that it is one step closer to the freedom that is only 38 days and a wake-up away.
On my end, though, when you don't call, it coaxes forth the fear that lives just beyond my conscience, fear that embraces what could be, fear that a son will never know anything but the darkness that is prison.
On my end, when you don't call, the darkness looms, engulfs, strangles the hope that lives in the heart of a mom that is counting down the days to a release that she still can't quite believe is only 38 days and a wake-up away.
Comments (16)
Only 38 days away.....wow!
Dear Tammy,
How nice that your name shot up to the top of my sub list. I haven't visited in a while because you were gone, and I missed the last entry until now. I pray and hope that this time Robert actually WILL be set free. He has been in a halfway house of sorts if I remember correctly. I hope he will get full custody, and the family will be reunited once again.
You are always in my prayers.
Michael F. Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool
38 days - All will be well
sounds like he's beginning to make the transisitions required... i'll keep you both in my prayers as he approaches this next step!
38 days...oh wow! Exciting and terrifying, yes?
I hope that prison hasn't touched him in all the wrong ways, I hope it was indeed a learning experience (a horrible one to be sure), and that when you get your son back in your arms once more, it is everything you have been waiting, hoping, dreaming, praying for.
I expect the transition will be a tough one...hold fast Mom, you can make it through this as well!
And darn it all....he better call!
::hugs::
*hugs* ... i hope that the time flies by for you.
I cant think of anything worse than the waiting to hear from someone you love
counting the days with you
Still, there is a definite brightening to your writing, an inner excitement, an almost blossoming joy. Dang, though, why didn't that boy call? *hugs xo good to hear from you!
Just keep counting off those days. He'll be home before you know it. Can you picture the look on Robert's and Nick's faces when they can hug each other again? Now, that'll be a Kodak moment! Hang in there - it'll all be over soon!
:hearts:
people always say no news is good news but we Mothers have never believed that for a moment...CALL YOUR MOM BOY! Hugs!
Getting closer, . . I know you are SO ready!
Wonderful!
I haven't been by in awhile- I just wanted to say, 'hi.' I have been struggling with my own son, and it's just been a way of detaching-or trying to-pretending I guess that life is not like it is...Reality check
Your still strong, and hanging on! Good for you! Wishing you the best! My son's next review date is Nov 28th-I have no idea what will happen then-they determine his next placement (he turned 18, Oct. 19-kind of hit me hard) Glad to see your on a countdown! 
Christine
So now it's 11/15... 31 days and counting!! Tick, tock - I can imagine how slowly time is creeping for both you and he. Slowly, and at the speed of light, all at the same time - I know it doesn't seem possible... but I know that it can happen, just the same! ...Just in time for Christmas - how awesome is that?? *Hugs*
Hope things are still on track. Keeping the prayers and positive thoughts heading your way.
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