HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

 

After a trip to the tattoo parlor to get a new tattoo (courtesy of his siblings for his birthday), and opening his gifts (which included a unicycle, of course), we headed to the Olive Garden for dinner.

I sure do love this guy!

Can you tell?

 

His brothers and sister continued with birthday punches (after everyone tried to ride the unicycle) late into the night.

Everyone was still asleep when I left for work this morning.

I wish I could forever freeze them all in this moment. 

My middle son turns 24 today.

He didn't come home last night. This is becoming a trend, a trend that I don't like. It's not that I don't understand his need to party with his friends. I do. I also understand how hard it must be to be at home, paying all of your money out in fines and child support, when you want to be out experiencing life as your friends experience it.

But the facts are the facts. He needs to save his money (what little is left after he pays what has to be paid). He needs to go to NY to see his daughter in her environment. He needs to keep his nose clean. He needs to have open lines of communication with those of us who are in his corner. He needs to grasp the magnitude of fulltime fatherhood.

And yet, today, on his 24th birthday, I wonder if he ever will.

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Although I am afraid, I know that he is trying, that he wants it, that he is as afraid (or more afraid) than I am. And today, I am grateful for all that he has accomplished, for the 7+ months that he has been clean, for his willingness to pay support for his daughter without complaint, for his ability to hang-on to a little bit of his inner child, for his dedication to work, and for his love of family and friends.

Please pop over and leave him a birthday message. He doesn't write much, but he reads everything that is written ......................

Happy Thoughts

"5 days and a wake up til my birthday," he said before bounding down the stairs and out of sight.

And then he was back, almost as quickly.

"Now I'm counting down good things!"

Yes you are, son. Yes you are.

And guess what he wants for his first birthday in the free world? 

11:00 AM - Robert calls into the court house in NY.

Magistrate: Please stand by while Brittani brings her lawyer up to date on the case.

Robert: Yes sir.

taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap

Judge: Mr. Foltz, do you deny paternity of Destiny B.?

Robert: No sir. She is definitely mine.

Judge: Have you had a court approved paternity test conducted?

Robert's lawyer: SILENCE. NOTHING. NOT ONE WORD.

Me (silently, of course): What the &*^%#$? Are these people all incompetent?

Me (whispering to Robert): Tell them that your lawyer has the results, that this has already been entered in and verified.

After Robert repeated my words, we waited while papers shuffled. And then the lawyer spoke, but it wasn't Robert's lawyer. It was someone that he had sent to stand in for him, someone who had not been briefed at all. "I do have that form your honor."

____________________________________________

Robert is now officially listed as Destiny's father, and his name will appear on the birth certificate.

Robert was asked to verify his income, and was told that he was to immediately start paying child support.

Robert: To whom to I send the checks, your honor?

Judge: Does someone other than the mother currently have custody?

Me (again silently questioning the competence of this group): Do they not have the information from the last court date? Or the information about Destiny being removed from her mother's custody because of neglect and abuse?

___________________________________________

I couldn't make this stuff up guys, and it gets better.

___________________________________________

Robert (because the lawyers are still silent): To the best of my knowledge, the maternal grandmother has custody of Destiny and has for about a year.

Judge (to Brittani): Is this the case?

Brittani: Yes.

Judge: Where is the grandmother?

Me (whispering to Robert): Isn't this the same judge that told her she didn't have to be here this time?

Robert: yep.

UUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh ......................

Now we must wait until the 31st of July (when Kim can be in court, as well).

All that was accomplished today was slapping Robert with child support payments that he has to put in an account until the judge can figure out to whom they should be sent.

When Robert said that he was attempting to get full custody, the judge said, "That isn't relevant here. Discuss that with your lawyer."

WE THOUGHT WE DID. It would help if HE showed up to court instead of his flunky!

Can one young man's life really hit this many snags? Can one mom really handle watching her son being beat down time and time again? Can both of them and those they love continue to smile and try to pick out the positive in doing things by the book?

I just want to cry.

Destiny turns 2 at Busch Gardens ....................

We started the day by picking Destiny up from her great grandma's house.

After a quick stop for burgers and fries, and a clothes change in the back of the Escape, we were off to the kiddie water park.

The water was really cold, and Destiny decided that being held was better than being squirted by the fountains.

Being enclosed and in the water was much more her speed, lol.

After getting into some dry clothes, we headed for the carousel. 

This ended up being her faverite ride, and daddy had to ride it again and again.

The banana split ice cream cone was also a big hit.

As was the huge cup of water that she insisted on carrying herself.

On the way out of the park, she had to stop and smell the flowers.

What a wonderful way to spend a granddaughter's birthday!

On our calendar, on today's date, Robert wrote the following:

"SIX MONTHS AND COUNTING!"

Take a look back here, and compare it to this one taken last night.

Look at his eyes. What do you think?

A boy and his dog.

 

Even on the worst days, there is someone or something that can make you feel better.

For Robert, that someone is Madeline.

 

 

 

1 hour and 45 minutes and counting .......

 

 

 

 

UPDATE - 11:30 AM: Continued, continued to the 29th of June.

Why? Because the stinking lawyer screwed up the court dates and was scheduled to be in two rooms at the same time, and Robert ended up with no representation.

The judge asked Robert if he wanted to continue without representation, and he said no.

If we had wanted to do it without representation, we wouldn't have paid the astronomical retainer fees.

Damn.

Tomorrow is the first court date.

Robert is a nervous wreck.

We are a nervous wreck.

What happens at these "preliminary" custody hearings? Will they make some sort of visitation schedule? Will they just make sure everyone summoned has representation? Will they tell Robert what he has to do next? 

Anyone?