September 11, 2005

  • My heart is aching, today, aching more than usual, for today I feel the pain from your sister's tears, tears that I know will get worse before they get better.


    Your sister needs to be comforted, son, but you aren't here to help. You are never here to help. 


    I want to scream at you, lash out at you, tell you how helpless I feel, how useless you are.


    Today is your sister's third 12-hour shift at the prison.


    Yesterday, someone attempted to jack-off in front of her, which means a mound of paperwork. 


    She didn't get home until almost 7:00. 


    The dishes were piled in the sink; her husband had ordered food for his mom, sisters, and brother; he told her to fend for herself. Her son had been fed junk all day, junk that included chocolate cake which was now smeared on her carpet. 


    And her husband was showering to go out.


    He left her alone.


    It isn't fair.


    She works so hard, makes so many sacrifices, tries to live a good life, and yet she cried herself to sleep last night, cried herself to sleep after being told that she is unwanted and unloved, cried herself to sleep only to wake up four hours later to head to a prison full of men who mostly think only of themselves.


    Men very much like you, like her own husband, like so many others..................

Comments (19)

  • I'm so sorry.........
    She needs to get away from that relationship.

  • I'm sorry...perhaps she will find the strength to move ahead in her child's eyes. That is where I found mine. The cycle can be broken-I have to believe that, for my daughters sake. Hugs for you and her.

  • Dear Tammy,

    I feel for your daughter. She is obviously in need of much love and understanding.

    You know, ALL men aren't the same. Some of us still have an understanding of chivalry and good manners, and practice  the art of "listening" instead of thinking about "ourselves" and what we're going to say next.

    I pray for you and yours daily.

    Michael F.Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool 

  • What Mike said....yeah

    I feel the frustration in yours words at not being able to help her...All we can do as Mothers is be there for them even when we can't fix it.....You are a wonderful Mother....

  • Hugs you so very big

  • He makes me very angry. After all we have done for him and all that she does for him on a continual basis, I just want to hurt him.:cry:

  • Peace to you and those you love, I am sorry for your families greif.

    :heartbeat:

  • That's is really a shame. I wish it were different for your daughter.

  • I read some of your earlier posts....... :sigh: You've been through a lot you could write a book..........

  • Oooooooh. 

  • :cry: It makes me sad to read such hardship. She deserves so much better.

  • Why are some men such (explitive deleted).  That is an awful life for her.  She is to be commended for keeping on working so hard in such difficult circumstances.

  • I am aware when talking to my son about family, the news, what's going on in the world, that most of the shit is caused by men who want to do things regardless of the consequences on others.  Men who do not put their families first.  I am frightened of influencing him the wrong way, but I don't know that many men who are good role models. Good supportive fathers who don't 'help' around the house, but do their share. Separated fathers who see their children for half the week and pay maintenance generously.  Politicians not getting richer since they got elected but out there truly representing us.  Its hard really and I do wonder how much women, indulgent mothers are too blame. In future years, should I be lucky enough to have a daughter-in-law, will she blame me for what she sees as her husband's shortcomings? I do my best, but so I presume did almost all mothers, and still we have war, corruption and men that don't take responsibility.  What to do?

  • This makes me feel so sad and angry and frustrated and helpless.  Please let her know that I love her and miss her terribly.  It's so hard to be so far away when all I want to do is hug her and hold her and protect her.  She deserves so much better.  YOU deserve so much better.  Everyone has sh*t in their lives that they have to deal with, but it always seems like you get an extra helping!  When it really starts getting you down, try to focus on all of the good things you have in your life ... your wonderful partner, your awesome kids and grandkids, good friends, a loving family, etc.  I wish I could do more than just offer encouragement and supportive words.  :cry:

  • felt, definitely.

    and oh, the delusions that are spawned by self.

  • I'm so sorry. I was once in a relationship like that, I would not do it again, and would not advise anyone to stay in a relationship like that. For me it worked. We both grew up some, we both fought, and hung on to what we had, and we both realized we loved eachother. Now I have a very strong marriage full of love and support. But once again, I would NEVER advise anyone else to fight through it. If only one is commited and caring it won't work.
    Men take so much longer to grow up, and while all men are certainly not like my husband or your daughters husband, so many are...I think we should let them age , like wine or cheese before we allow them to have a relationship and harm a woman physically, mentally, or emtionally....they do seem to mature after 35.
    And to be honest, if it wasn't for the sex part...I would so be gay! :color:

  • ryc: nope, never driven [except as a learner, this year, and i've given it up because i just can't do it] - i love buses .  i'm pleased you think it's cool! everbody else seems to think i'm mad.

  • wish all guys were really like this...:)
    Listen to it, alot of it is true!
    this chain letter is real
    so follow
    the instructions
    and something
    good will happen!!
    LISTEN TO THIS LETTER AND GOOD LUCK!!!!!
    Sorry,
    but this chain letter is for real.
    When Anne Wichert got it for the first time,
    she ignored it and a week later the love of her
    life dumped her for no good reason so
    BEWARE,
    and just send the stupid letter!!!!!!
    The Lovers of the Heart
    In order to form
    a more perfect kiss,
    enable the mighty hug to promote
    to whom we please
    but one kiss.
    Article 1:
    Statement of Love:
    The Kiss
    1. Kiss on the hand I adore you
    2. Kiss on the cheek I just want to be friends
    3. Kiss on the neck I want you
    4. Kiss on the lips I love you
    5. Kiss on the ears I am just playing
    6. Kiss anywhere else lets not get carried away
    7. Look in your eyes kiss me
    8.Playing with your hair I can't live without you
    9. Hand on your waist I love you to much to let you go
    Article 2:
    The Three Steps
    1. Girls: If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.
    2. Guys: If any girl slaps you, kiss her
    3. Guys & Girls: Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare.
    Article 3:
    The Commandments
    1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard.
    2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, but take one.
    3. Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.
    * Remember *
    A peach is a peach
    A plum is a plum,
    A kiss isn't a kiss
    Without some tongue.
    So open up your mouth
    close your eyes,
    and give your tongue
    some exercise!!!
    Here are a few reasons
    why guys like girls:
    1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
    2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
    3. How cute they look when they sleep
    4. The ease in which they fit into our arms
    5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the
    world
    6. How cute they are when they eat
    7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it
    all
    worth while
    8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside
    9. The way they look good no matter what they wear
    10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that
    you
    think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
    11. How cute they are when they argue
    12. The way her hand always finds yours
    13. The way they smile
    14. The way you feel when you see their name on the caller ID after you
    just
    had a big fight
    15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that
    an
    hour later....
    16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them
    17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you"
    18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you...
    19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry
    20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
    21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
    22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though we
    don't
    admit it)!
    23. The way they say "I miss you"
    24. The way you miss them
    25.The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it
    doesn't
    hurt her anymore..... Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish
    they
    would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not.
    Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become
    everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the
    depths
    of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound,
    you
    know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic
    beatings
    of her very heart.We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do
    it
    justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling.
    Only
    felt.
    This chain started in 1997.
    It is a love chain letter.
    In an hour you are
    supposed to send it to
    25 people.
    It is easy, just look into
    chat rooms and find them.
    Anyway,
    send it to 25 people in 1 hour.
    Now here
    comes the fun part.
    You then say
    the name of the person
    you like or love
    and then the person will say
    "I love you,"
    or
    "Will you go out with me?"
    NO JOKE!!!!!
    NOW
    THE CONSEQUENCES
    The consequences are:
    If you break the chain letter,
    you will have bad luck
    in future relationships.
    If you don't
    break the chain,
    then you will be a
    happy camper!!!
    CoNgRatULaTioNs!!
    You have been chosen
    to participate
    in the
    LONGEST
    and the
    LUCKIEST
    chain letter on the Internet!
    Once you read,
    this letter you must
    IMMEDIATELY
    (meaning within the hour)
    be sent to
    25
    people
    After you send it,
    make a wish
    and it will come
    TRUE
    YOU MAY NOT WAIT
    FOR A CERTAIN TIME
    TO SEND IT........ REMEMBER,
    IT MUST BE SENT
    TO
    25
    PEOPLE WITHIN 1 HOUR,
    OR
    YOUR WISH WILL NOT COME
    TRUE!
    If THIS
    CHAIN LETTER
    IS CONTINUED UNTIL
    THE YEAR 2006, IT WILL BE PLACED IN
    THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS!
    PLEASE CONTINUE IT NOW!!!
    *WARNING*
    IF YOU DO NOT PASS THIS ON,
    SOMETHING BAD OR WORSE
    WILL HAPPEN TO YOU:
    *NOTE*
    THE MORE PEOPLE
    YOU SEND THIS TO
    THE MORE LUCK YOU WILL
    HAVE IN YOUR LOVE LIFE.
    IF YOU BREAK
    THE CHAIN LETTER
    (IT HAS BEEN GOING SINCE 1997)
    YOU WILL HAVE
    BAD LUCK
    WITH YOUR LOVE LIFE
    FOR SEVEN YEARS.
    THIS IS
    NO
    JOKE.
    GOOD LUCK!!!! 

  • Sounds as though you may have a daughter in her own "prison" as well.  I hope she finds a way out and doesn't have to exist that way always.

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