SOMETIMES by Rob Foltz

Sometimes I wonder why I was put on this earth.

Sometimes I think my life is cursed.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm really cared about,

and then I think, "Of course I am; I'm living in my mother's house."

And sometimes I look at the rest of me,

and I realize I was put here for my little Destiny.

3/2/06

Quote from the mother of my son's girlfriend:

"You are surrounding yourself with fuckedupidness, and we won't have it. You need to get out of this NOW!"

This from a woman who spent 45 minutes on the phone with me just a few days ago. At that time, her (grown) daughter wanted to go to Virginia with us. In her best sickeningly sweet voice she indicated that she thought it was best to give Robert time with his child and didn't think her daughter should go. "They will have other opportunities if things work out," she said.

What she didn't add, of course, was that she and her husband were going to threaten to stop paying for their daughter's college education, sell her horse, and take away her truck if she continued to see this "hoodlum," because he is only using her "to get laid and get rides to wherever he wants to go."

Grown-ups. Sheeeeesh.  

"Your mom tells me you are working two jobs and that you want to go back to school," she said to Robert when he called to let her know that he was getting ready to file for custody.

"Yeah."

"Well where does that leave Destiny? Where will she fit in?"

"I'm working two jobs to make enough money to GET Destiny. Once I have her, I will just work one steady job. And school will allow me to make a better life for us."

"If it was a few months from now and you had proven yourself," She began. "Maybe then I wouldn't fight you. But right now I'm going to."

When he hung up the phone he told me about the call. This is the same woman who has been telling me all along that she wants one of the biological parents to have custody, that she doesn't want to raise her grandchild. And now this.

Damn it. He's 23. He has no savings, and we aren't rich by any means. Yet now, we will have to spend at least a couple thousand dollars to gain custody of a child whose mother has abused her and whose father only wants to love her. 

At least we know where we stand. At least we know that we need to retain the lawyer up front instead of after the papers are filled.

At least we know.............

REUNITED

Words will come later. For now, allow me to simply share the love that is over-flowing my heart tonight:

Today,

It's going to be 57 degrees in Raleigh,

the sun is shining,

and everyone is psyched about our date with Destiny.

Tomorrow,

there's an 80% chance of snow in Virginia Beach,

the sun will be hiding,

and we will still be psyched about our date with Destiny.

ONE MORE DAY!

We want to take Robert to Virginia this weekend to see his daughter. Easy enough, yes?

NO!

First, Robert must call his probation officer here in North Carolina to request permission to leave the state. Here's how that conversation goes:

"Mr. _______, I have a chance to see my daughter for the first time since she was 3 months old. She will be in Virginia. Can I get a trip pass?"

"I can't issue that."

"Why?"

"Your parole officer in Virginia will have to do that. I am just supervising you here."

"Oh. Okay."

Next, Robert must call the probation officer in Virginia to request that he grant permission to the probation officer in North Carolina so that he can grant permission for the trip:

"This is Robert Foltz. May I speak to Mr. _______?"

"Mr. ______ is out of the office until April 22."

"Oh. Okay."

Then, Robert, who is trying to take care of this and work, calls mom. Mom is mad. Mom calls the office of Mr. _______ in Virginia.

"This is Tammy Bird. I am the mother of Robert Foltz. We are trying to get permission for him to travel approximately 150 miles to see his daughter for two days. Who can I talk to?"

After being told that Mr ______ only handles initial incoming paperwork (which means Robert really doesn't even have a Virginia probation officer), and that we have to get the travel permit from North Carolina, I finally get hold of a Ms. ______, the deputy chief. She will call, she says, to give Mr. _______ in North Carolina permission to grant permission for Mr. _______ in Virginia so that Robert can make the trip.

Tomorrow, we will have to pick the permit up from Mr. _______'s downtown Raleigh office.

Cross your crossables that it is really there................... 

My son has a blog!

Here is today's entry:

Monday, February 13, 2006

Wonderful advice, huh?

The paternity test is in ..............

...And Robert is the daddy.

The combined paternity index has to be 100 or higher for the established paternity to hold up in court. The combined paternity index on Robert's result paper was listed as 70,700, lol.

His email address is bigrobakaroscoe@yahoo.com if anyone wants to congratulate him.

Now we begin the custody battle (though I hope it turns out to not be a battle, at all).

Tammy 

My son is now a cook at Cheeburger, Cheeburger!

We were beginning to think that no one was going to take a chance on him.

We were wrong.

Paternity

I look at you, our Destiny, and I see your daddy when he was two.

I see his cheeks, his forehead, his stance.

I hear his laughter, his shyness, his joy.

And yet, because of the pain and anger that has surrounded us these last two years, we must be sure.

And so -- today you will have your cheek swabbed, your daddy will have his cheek swabbed, and we will wait; we will wait a week to fourteen days for the results; we will wait, and then we will progress toward our ultimate goal, the goal of having you tucked safely in the arms of your daddy.